HUMOR ME MARRIAGE!

DISCUSS Subject: WIFE

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. ~By Shaquille O’Neal

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” ~By Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them. ~By Mike Tyson

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? ~By George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. ~By Bill Clinton

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. ~By George W. Bush

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
~By Rudy Giuliani

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~By Lee Majors

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. ~By Michael Jordan

I’ve had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. The third gave me more children! ~By Donald Trump

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once… ~By Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. ~By David Hasselhoff

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. ~By Al Gore

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. ~By Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. ~By Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. ~By Tommy Lee

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.” ~By Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy : “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.” ~ By Jimmy Kimmel

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!” ~By David Letterman

First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring…soon after….comes SuffeRing! ~By Jay Leno

The reason why wives live longer is because they don’t have a Wife ~By Brandon Breezy

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